Yoda started the day off right by launching an assault on the Jayhawk Towers vending machine. Making stealthy moves to avoid the security cameras, he slid his way over to the machine and shook it violently. A bounty of snacks including Tuna, Zingers, and Peanuts fell out, and he filled his pack full. Up in the main office, Mike Stifter, the Jayhawk Towers manager caught the suspicious movement on tape. Yoda was struggling the massive pack out of the concessions room when Stifter rounded the corner, accompanied by a wet elevator repairman. "Whoop Dee Dee Dee!" yelled Yoda as he ran inside C tower and into the elevator. Stifter and the Janitor were not far behind, but Jaime Young was getting into the other car. "2nd floor," he thought to himself. He jumped out of the car and hid his pack around the corner. Ding! Jaime got off the elevator and as the doors began to shut, Yoda leapt from behind the corner and slammed the door shut with Stifter and the repairman inside. As the doors flew shut, Yoda saw the fear in the repairman's eyes - he had been in the shaft and knew what was in store. Then, the fury began as VB flew up the shaft and shook the elevator car with a vengeance, causing the fluorescent lights to shatter and their covers to fall on Stifter and Co. Suddenly, VB tore the elevator car from its hydraulic system and threw it into a nexus at the bottom of the shaft. "This was what I was afraid of!" yelled the repairman as the car vanished in a swirling cloudy.

"What the hell?!" Tumnus yelled at the TV as the power went out. "Shhh!" Suncat said, "do you hear that?" It was the sound of the catacomb nexus powering down. A sound very faint under normal circumstances, but with the power out to the complex, it was far easier to hear. SOT turned on the generator and tracked the residual power as it faded. "Baaah!" he yelled. Kitty was watching over his shoulder and broke the news as Yoda entered with his loot. "The entire south elevator car was teleported, it seems to have short-circuited the wiring. Much of C tower's mains are fused, it could be days before they restore power. "I'm not staying here without AC for a few days," said Suncat. Tumnus replied, "Me neither, remember when it went out in the summer? Man, I thought I was going to kill Andy the German. That guy reeked!" "His shorts and Saints starter jacket were his only saving graces," Kitty chimed in. "Well, I for one was wanting a day off, but we are still bound to God's service. If memory serves, we cannot steal today. Hmmm, Yoda, what is in that bag?" "Oh....provisions," he replied. Tumnus recognized the variety from a deja-vu like experience. "I don't want to know, but I have a feeling it is a good thing for us that you are not bound to the Word." Yoda gave a nod through his now stoked J as he tore open some Swiss cakes, "Fuckin' A. Check out my ass where that bastard bit me!" Indeed Yoda's normally green ass was bright red from infection. Kitty set to work with his medical kit, saying only, "Ought to be able to undo 5 days damage," and soon had Yoda patched up. He scribbled something on paper and handed it to Yoda, they then gave high-5s and chest butted. Yoda read the note, "Weed and beer as needed, for the pain. You ma nigga," he said to Kitty, who only blushed.

"To the batcave!" yelled Suncat. Everyone just stared at him. "To Turbo Timmy... honestly I thought you guys would pick up on that one." The rest of the crew shrugged and walked to TT where they would enjoy the AC. Suncat promptly set up a card table, and took out a live Batman out of his pocket. Batman was put on the table. "Hey, I know you're hungry, but please don't eat me!" said Batman, who was only three inches tall. Suncat laughed, and Tumnus joined in the laughter. Soon, TT was full of laughter, as they darted off to South America. Yoda, who was until now in the bathroom, came out, totally stoned. He floated over to the card table, to see what everyone was looking at. Yoda looked, did a double take, and wiped his eyes. He left the scene, laughing, mumbling to himself how good this weed was. Then, SOT took over.

"BAAAAAA" said SOT. He enjoyed watching Batman, who was now stuck to a sheet of fly paper. "Oh please, let me go!" said Batman. "I have work to do." "Listen, you will be going nowhere!" yelled Suncat. He flicked Batman a few times with his fingers, when Tumnus came over with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some Q-tips. "We need to clean you up Batman" said Tumnus. With that, he swabbed Batman all over, cleaning him. A hatch opened in the side of TT...and DOS the magnificent dog stuck his head out, barking. Kittywampus came over, worried. He did not know what was going on...indeed, this was strange. "I must consult my Shaman" said Kitty, who parachuted out the door. "Somebody shut that door!" yelled Suncat, who was now dressed like Robin. Tumnus reached deep into his pocket, and found his Zippo. Tumnus dropped the Zippo from about four feet above Batman, and let it fall. "Ouch!" yelled Batman, his ribs now broken. "Listen guys, I don't know what you are up to, but you have to let me go. I have an evil villain to catch." Suncat stopped for a moment, and thought about what Batman said. "Oh come on, who could you possibly catch? You are only three inches tall, and weak." Batman began to sing. "Choot choot chugga chugga big red car. We'll travel fast and we'll travel far." SOT liked the music, and brought some fake Teletubbies over. He set them up all around Batman, who eyed them with caution. Then, Yoda, who had come back over to see what was up, cast a spell that brought the Teletubbies to life. Dipsy and La-La began to move around, and grew fangs. "Nooo!" screamed Batman, but it was too late. The Teletubbies bit in hard, and ripping Batman apart, and eating him alive. "That's the last time I mention the Batcave" said Suncat. "What were we doing anyway?"

"ARRGGHH!" Suncat ran to the window and saw a black man in a straight jacket tied with chains to a telephone pole. "Where are we?" Suncat demanded of Kittywampus, who was driving. "Sorry man, I pulled over to get some supplies," he replied as he proudly showed off his Always Save brand tator tots and Pillsbury cookie dough. "Before we head into the Amazon, we have to be prepared." Tumnus was the first to speak after Kitty's startlingly logical statement, "Why are we going to South America?" "That is where the last transmission from Twiggy came from. It was strange, a repeating series of the 1st 20 perfect squares; 1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64..." "I get the picture," interrupted Tumnus, "can you get to the point?" "Well, I think someone has disassembled him and is recompiling an AI. The alternative would be that they are signaling to outer space like SETI does, but the thing is, I know no one returns prime number and perfect square transmissions, I mean who cares? You got a unique mathematical series, whoop-dee-friggin-do, is that supposed to impress a space-going race? No way," Suncat rolled his eyes and nudged Tumnus, "You had to get him started, didn't you?" Tumnus held up a hand to Kitty which stopped the lecture, "So why are we going there?" "Well, we have to return Twiggy to the future, we need him to be able to do that. This is how we are going to get him." "OK, now you're making sense" "ARGGHH!" the black man was free of his chains and working on the jacket. "Let's get out of here!" yelled Suncat. Kitty lit the engines and was at 200 feet when the man broke free and started rampaging below. "You don't see that everyday," Suncat said to DOS.

TT touched down in a clearing on Caviana Island in the Amazon Delta. "We are going overland, we will need surprise on our side," announced Kitty. "Screw that," said Suncat, "I know how dangerous the Amazon is." "Well, to get past their radar and surface to air defenses we need to go in on the ground," Kitty explained, "it's my way or the highway." Grumbling Suncat tore an AK-47 off the wall and went down the ramp with the gang. Kitty morphed into a giant roly-poly with 6 saddles, they sat with SOT steering, Tumnus next, Suncat, DOS, Yoda, and supplies taking up the rearmost seat. Kittypoly could do a good 50 mph through the forest, an incredible and breakneck speed that made Tumnus nearly soil his chaps, those pairs of legs could really hug the turns. They were on the edge of the compound before noon and Kittypoly split off a chunk that turned back into a very hungry Kittywampus who de-skeletonized a cow in less time than a river full of piranha. "This is going to be quite the day," Suncat observed. "Quite," replied Tumnus. "Indeed," Kitty said as he ripped the top off a Heineken mini-keg-can of beer pausing only to pour it down his throat without swallowing. He then belched loud enough to scare a flock of birds out of the trees nearby. "Let's get to work!" he said.

The Kittypoly grew a big Kittywampus head on the front of it. "I don't think that is very aerodynamic" said Suncat. "I kind of like it" said Kitty, who jumped up and perched himself on the giant kitty head. The Kittypoly was tearing through the rain forest like a hot knife through butter, and at amazing speed. "At this rate, we will have the entire rain forest cleared in two days" said Tumnus. "Where are we going?" Yoda's voice floated up the way, barely audible over the sounds of the trees being cut and left to burn from the enormous friction produced. "Stop!" said Yoda suddenly. Yoda hopped off the Kittypoly and lit his joint on a burning stump just meters behind them, and quickly returned to his seat. "Proceed."

Tumnus rolled his eyes at Yoda, who was deep in thought. "Whoa!" said Tumnus. The Kittypoly stopped. "Look, up ahead!" said SOT in Morse code Baaahing, pointing. There, amidst a few trees, some burning, was a hut, proper in every way. "What a nice little hut, let's ransack the place!" yelled Yoda, who let out a rebel yell and charged inside, without knocking. The gang quickly dismounted and stopped at the doorway. "We need to keep that Yoda in check, he's ALWAYS doing things wrong" said Suncat. "Look, a mailbox" said Tumnus. Tumnus read the name aloud. "It says Sylvanian. Well, let's go inside and see what Yoda's up to...we need to make sure he doesn't screw anything up, and we might find a clue." "A clue? To what? I don't even see why we are here!" replied Suncat, who popped open a bag of Cornuts. DOS walked over and put his head on Suncat's knee, to lend his support. "Well it's already 7:30 pm, we don't have much time until this day is over. I suggest we just chill the rest of the day and hopefully midnight will come without much fanfare" said Tumnus. Then, in the hut, a bunch of noise. "Let's go in and see what's in there. I'm curious. Tumnus, Suncat and DOS entered the hut. Kitty was to stay behind and guard Kittypoly.

...Inside the Hut...

Yoda was sitting in a rocking chair smoking a bong with the Sylvanian family that lived there. "Yoda, how dare you corrupt this nice family with your weed!" scolded Tumnus. Suncat finished his Cornuts as Tumnus Tumnusized the entire family. DOS came out of a back room barking. SOT went into the room, and returned with a box. The Sylvanians were put back into their box, Tumnusized and without a fight. Suncat was fed up by now, and no longer cared to play by the rules. He donned a black cape and eerily, sang to electric cello music "look into their eyes and you'll be a Transylvanian concubine, you know what flows there like wine." The hellishly deformed Sylvanian family was animated and not pleasant. They milled about the group looking for a weak spot to attack, to both Suncat's joy and dismay they hated all that lived and attacked the group.

Tumnus grabbed his son and climbed aboard Kittypoly. Yoda levitated to a seat with his sack of provisions, uneasy about the now evil Sylvanians. Suncat and DOS ran towards Kittypoly who suddenly reared up on his hindmost sets of legs to ward off the advancing minions of darkness. Suncat and DOS were cut off by the 2 smallest Sylvanians while the larger 2 menaced Kittypoly to prevent him from leaving. In a valiant effort that brought tears to Suncat's eyes DOS sacrificed himself by running at them baring his teeth enabling Suncat to escape to Kittypoly. Tumnus yelled at Suncat through the melee, "What did you do that for? Was it worth the price?" SOT stared at Suncat in disbelief. Yoda just shook his head. The crew was worse for wear, Suncat saw how all were scratched and only Yoda was not bleeding as Kittypoly ran from the wretched imps that were ripping DOS to shreds. Suncat then commanded, "Stop!" He leapt from his saddle and struck the ground with the butt of his enchanted AK-47, sending an electrical charge toward the fast approaching devils. Their life-force was pulled from their souls and drawn into Suncat's gun, which he then shot at what was left of DOS. DOS stood up and shook himself, he was alive and well, but not the same. He was a little uneasy and Suncat sent him to live with some friends. They had a small retirement party for DOS, glad to see him back, but at the same time, sad to see him go. At the end, DOS jogged towards his new home around 8:30, leaving the crew with their unfinished business in the Amazon.

Suncat gathered the bodies of the Sylvanians and placed them in the rearmost seat. "I plan to re-animate them once we get to this... hideout." SOT shuddered and Tumnus said, "I don't know if they should ever be brought back, those things tried to kill us!" Kittypoly ran like a red-assed banshee with its ass on fire toward the jungle hideout, wanting to have the dervishes off it for good. They got back to the holdout just before 9, Kittypoly dissolved into thin air and Kittywampus had been right, the defenses were strong, the walls were several feet thick, and at least 100 soldiers were on guard. Suncat directed Kitty to barricade the doors shut from the outside as he threw the Sylvanians over the lowest wall and mumbled an incantation. Kitty was approaching and Tumnus asked, "Did it work?" Just then, the screams began, a few at first, then scores at once interspersed with small arms fire, underlying it all the frightening sound of Sylvan giggling which grew frenzied as their blood lust took over, spelling doom for all those inside the walls. Suncat peered over the walls and saw the Sylvanians feasting on human flesh, he lined up his shot and killed 2 with one shot, which frightened the other 2 into hiding. "How is it that their guns did nothing, but yours can kill?" Tumnus asked. "When I killed them earlier, their essence was captured by this gun, it is all that can kill them now." He looked over the wall again and only saw one, peering out of a mortar tube. Suncat killed it, only to find out that the other was hiding just below the wall. It leapt up and was inches from him. Tumnus teed off on the little demon with a mahogany club, sending it flying for a good 200 yards, and breaking most of it's bones. "Let's find Twiggy," said Kitty, "I don't like hanging around this place, its just.... evil."

"Finding Twiggy is the least of our concerns. Suncat, why did you let DOS go? Don't you remember he is part of the group, the WHOLE group must endure the 10 days, or the universe will be no more" said Tumnus. "I'm not sure what the rules are, can we replace him, or does it have to be him? " asked Suncat, to no one in particular. Then, a thunderous roar was heard, as God began to speak. "You let DOS go out of the goodness of your heart, that, however, will not suffice. Where would it end? Sending Yoda off to a field of pot plants? Sending Tumnus to Vegas with unlimited funds? The game has changed. I am adding an extra day to your journey, yes, 11 days. On the 11th day, instead of the Universe suddenly changing back to normal at midnight, you will instead face a great challenge! In addition, you must find a replacement by midnight tonight" and with that, God departed, leaving the scene quiet, except for a few Sylvanian Tanks coming at them on the horizon. "What time is it Kitty?" asked Suncat. "7:48 PM, Amazon time" he replied. Mills Lane busted onto the Scene. "Let's get it on!"

"Kitty, how many tanks do you see?" asked Tumnus. "Twelve" Kitty replied. The tanks rolled in fast, and before they knew it, they were surrounded. Tumnus pulled a Wiccan girlfriend from Russia out of his pocket named Olga, and she did cast a spell, and the Sylvanians did turn into Twinkies, and Yodas eyes did get big, and the group did feast upon the Twinkies. "Everyone get on a Tank, let's find our 6th man" yelled Tumnus. SOT began baaaahing uncontrollably. "What is wrong with him" asked Suncat. "Our things are missing! The bag of supplied, it is gone." said Tumnus. "SOT, did you see who took them?" asked Kitty. SOT replied, "Ice Cube." A short pause then, "wrote a sentence, it's da bomb, just like George Clinton." The ability to talk stupefied all, until they saw Ice Cube himself freestyling behind SOT, who was merely lip-syncing to You Know How We Do It. "Ice Cube?" "I'm that fool from South Central, ya think ya stuck yo'self with a numba 2 pencil, that's how I put hot lead in yo ass, wit' mo' bounce to the ounce than a..." "An ounce, I think we need to have words," said Yoda who took Ice Cube by the arm and led him towards the jungle with an ounce of Amazon chronic and a bag of munchies. In a mere 5 minutes the tanks were subdued with all but Suncat's tank out of gas or aflame. Suncat's tank swung to the left and launched a salvo at Olga and Mills Lane, blasting them into nothingness. Tumnus grabbed a pool noodle and tore it in half, handing half to Suncat. They drove around horsewhipping the tank's roof and sides with the noodles until it ran out of gas. Only 20 yards in front of them were Twiggy's remains. Tumnus scooped them up and teleported them back to TT. He then transported the whole crew back to TT and waited while Suncat flew back to pick him up. While waiting, he stumbled upon a tracking device. Picking it up he noticed that instead of X-Y or lat-lon tracking, it was dimensional. You could track any person or thing with the device that it had made physical contact with. Browsing the directory of trackable entities, he saw his own name, oh yes, he had picked it up, that must be why. "Hmmm." One name caught his eye, he closed the lid to the palm pilot sized tracker and put it in his pocket, he would have to discuss this with Suncat. Ah, speak of the devil. Suncat slammed TT down like a toy he didn't care to play with anymore. "Ma nigga!" yelled Suncat through the smoker's window of TT's face and Tumnus hopped in.

Tumnus sealed off the cockpit with a privacy screen and showed Suncat the tracker. "That is neat," Suncat said, "but why is it a surprise that Bert Blyleven went through, Oil Can Boyd, who cares? Do you think this is part of a master plot?" "No, I just had their baseball cards from the 1987 Topps set, you know the wood grained one?" "Oh, yes, that is interesting." Tumnus activated the switch inside Twiggy's chest, activating a nexus in front of TT. Suncat drove through with a quickness unparalleled, and by the time the eBay clock stroked midnight, they were in audience with the Shaman. "We thank you for returning this to our timeline and setting right what was put in motion wrong," the Shaman started, "in return for your valor and cunning, we will provide you with three things. The first is that we are upgrading Turbo Timmy to Super Timmy (ST). ST will have all the features, in essence be the same craft you brought here, but now it will have the ability to change physical size. You will be able to shrink to 1% or double your mass with a hyperferadic power sources which allows for the nearly perfectly efficient energy to matter and vice versa conversion. You will also be free to return to this time and place at your leisure." "Good Shaman, you honor us with your counsel, the ability to return here and seek words of wisdom would be of the utmost value," said Tumnus. "Indeed," replied the Shaman. "Second, we will expunge your criminal records." This seemed to please Ice Cube most of all. "Lastly, we will answer any question you have," Tumnus leapt forward and demanded to know why Bert Blyleven and Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd had used the transporter. "They didn't," replied the Shaman, "you were looking at the address book. Only you, Vatorbutt, and Ice Cube are in it's memory of having used it." Tumnus spun toward Ice Cube, who in his defense, said "I lifted it off him, stole it yo." "We wish you well on your quest, continue on, the hopes and futures of us all rest on your backs," the Shaman said as he departed carrying the remains of Twiggy. As they walked back to ST in silence, Suncat slapped Tumnus on the back of the head, "Nice move, we get to ask a question to people living 300 years in the future and you ask a question like that?" "I had to know," replied Tumnus, "I don't expect you to understand."

When they arrived at ST, the control systems were completely redone, all digital readouts replacing the analog systems in about 50% of the original space. "Sweet, I can put those subs and amp up here now," said Kitty. Suncat peeked at the wiring to the temporal drive, undisturbed, good, the Shaman would not know TT had been the origin of the cataclysm that severed the earth. Somehow that knowledge made him feel at ease. They engaged the temporal drive and returned to Jayhawker towers, just as the eBay signaled 12:30AM. The power was restored, surprisingly, and the elevator was taped off. "We will have to try and figure this out tomorrow," said Tumnus. Suncat nodded through a yawn and said only, "I like the tomorrow part, let's turn in," with that the crew went to catch sleep with Ice Cube crashing on the hide-a-bed.