"Damn, ya'll need a new couch!" said Ice Cube, rubbing his neck as dawn broke. Suddenly, the windows in the living room were shattered by a giant chicken, disguised as a rooster, and holding a box of Daylight Donuts. "Bawk Bawk!" said the chicken. Then, as quickly as it came, it was gone. "Yo, I'm not going to complain" said Ice Cube to Yoda, who nodded. Suncat and Tumnus awoke simultaneously just in time to see Ice Cube and Yoda finishing off the box of treats. "You can cube...I can tell" said Ice Cube to Yoda, in-between bites. Tumnus stretched and let out a grunt, as Ice Cube quickly took a brown paper bag from Yoda.

"So what is today, no false witness, right?" said Ice Cube to Tumnus, changing the subject. "Yes indeed" replied Tumnus. Suncat went into the kitchen, as if in search of something. "OJ's all gone, and we have an empty box of donuts. All the food is rotten in here!" said Suncat. Suncat went into the living room. "What happened to the window" he asked. "This is the work of a giant faux rooster" said Kitty, matter of factly. Kitty suddenly remembered Ice Cube was there, and felt the need to impress. "Uh, what I meant was, Run run run from the ghetto chicken, probably still kickin', but before lunchy, Suncat needs a munchy." Ice Cube sighed, along with Yoda. "Ya'll can't Cube!" Yoda did a couple flips in the air to express his distaste, as the sounds of Master P began to infiltrate 304 C from next door. "So what we supposed to do today?" asked Ice Cube. "Well, first we need to get some food!" said Suncat, flipping through the Yellow Pages. "Yo, let's get in that dope ride of y'alls, and take it to 'Bama. I got my own business there...BBQ restaurant. I'll treat ya'll to some fine cube" said Ice Cube. "Sounds good to me," said Tumnus.

The group finished getting dressed, and went into the hallway. Kitty locked the door, and just as they were about to walk down the hall to the elevator, the neighbor's door opened. What they saw took their breath away. The neighbor's apartment was not an apartment at all, but another dimension. It was a realm of chaos and war hidden behind the solid wooden door that simply proclaimed 303C. "No wonder they are always playing Master P," said Suncat. "P can't cube," said Ice Cube. Suddenly, flames leapt from the ass of a rat and the rat was airborne. "Its some kind of missile, shut the door!" yelled Kitty. Tumnus grabbed the door and slammed it shut just before the rat would have broached the threshold. "This place is always full of surprises," said Suncat, "that is why I love living here." "I like how it smells," said Yoda, drawing everyone's stares. No one spoke until SOT baahed pointing to the stairs.

"Before we go anywhere, huddle up and touch this tracker," said Tumnus. "Should we get separated, this will help us find each other again." "That's a good idea, I could install a duplicate of it in Super Timmy and he would be able to hone in and retrieve us via remote." "Excellent," Tumnus, SOT, and Suncat stroked their goatees in unison, pleased with the idea. Within a couple hours, Suncat had the device working. Kitty had taken advantage of the time to mount his amp and subwoofers. "Swass!" he proclaimed as the full glory of Sir Mix A Lot's Buttermilk Biscuits played. "I forbid this song to be ever played again," said Suncat, 'just kidding, I like it too." He then cranked it. Tumnus had collected Stifter's DNA out of the Towers office so that they would be able to track him. To the staff, it was just another of Stifter's benders, who knew when he would be back...

"We are over Alabama now IC, guide us in," Tumnus said. "Wait a sec, Alabama, I thought you were west coast," he said. "It's a franchise, yo, a'ight?" IC replied. Tumnus shrugged. They pulled in and the BBQ joint was most definitely IC's. A remarkable semblance stared at them from the sign.

"I Cubes BBQ. Y'all Can't Cube" Tumnus read the sign aloud. "Come on in, and you will see, the dream is my reality." answered IC. "That is Metallica" stated Kitty plainly, as they walked in side.

...Inside I-Cubes...

"Yo, it's IC. What's up IC!" the doorman was nothing but an IC look-a-like. "Remarkable resemblance!" stated Yoda, who lofted off the ground, and floated around the corner into the dining area. The crew sat down in a corner booth, big enough for all, and quite comfy. "It's Sealy" stated IC with a smile, and pulling the side level to reveal a fold out ottoman. IC clapped twice, and in no time two Ice Cube look a likes came out with a giant bong, and a half-ounce. Yoda was with them. Suncat and Tumnus & Son refrained from smoking, but Kitty, Cube and Yoda would indulge. Then, suddenly, a gunman entered the place wearing a ski mask. "Empty the cash register and nobody will get killed" he said. The crew covered their ears as shots rang out. The gunman was dead before he knew it, mowed down by some sucker with a Tech-Nine who looked like Ice Cube. Suddenly, Qbert burst through the ceiling and landed on a bar stool, demanding his money back. "This cube is not good to eat" he said. An Ice Cube look a like lofted over a chefs hat to the real Ice Cube, and he put it on, walked over to Qbert. Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre was at the door, ready to make an entrance. "They are about to rip shit up!" said Yoda, still holding in the last bong hit. "Yo, give this Qbert a microphone" said Ice Cube. "I'm hungry" said Suncat loudly. SOT stood atop a bar stool, throwing things. This got the cooks attention, and soon plenty of food was brought to the table. Suddenly, disco lights were turned on, Qbert was in the limelight, and he began to sing. "I could see the bridge was lined with bears but I didn't have a doggone dime, I says 'Big Ben, this here's Rubber Duck, we just ain't gonna pay no toll,' so we crashed the gate doin' 98, I says, 'let those truckers roll." IC pulled the plug as Suncat erupted into laughter. "Dude, that was Convoy! I haven't heard that song since the 1980's and it has not got any better with age!" IC swung the plug back and forth, expecting an answer from Qbert, then it happened. Qbert began to move from side to side, then shake violently. It was as if his insides were made of a volatile compound that the agitation destabilized. "Run!" yelled Tumnus.

"An' none of us waited fo explainin' 'fore we rose on up out dat bitch," IC told the cop who was questioning everyone on scene. "Yeah, that punk-ass bustah Qbert, he was a bomb, not da bomb, but A bomb! He done blowed his big ass up AND my franchise! I'm all like, wassup with that? None o' y'all can cube, so's ya jus gots ta take it out on me? I try to bring a little bit o' culture to this red-neck o' da woods and y'all blows ma shit up? Sheet, ain't fair," IC said. He then signed his statement and returned to ST parked under the shade of the parking lot trees. "Did they buy it?" asked Suncat. "Yeah, I think so," said IC. "How did you know it was a trap?" asked Kitty. "Well, I was messing around with this device, and it seems to be more than just a tracking device, it has a stability detector built in and as Qbert started shaking, his molecules became less stable, much like a nexus opening up. I speculate what happened is he was never really here, but he was a confinement field of nexal energy. When this detector sent its carrier wave out, it struck the confinement field and began a constructive resonant interference wave that just bounced around until its energy exceeded that of the confinement field. The field could no longer withstand the energy fluctuation, and," "Catastrophic failure," finished Suncat. "Yep," said Tumnus. "That thing would make a great weapon coupled to ST's nexus projector, we would essentially have the ability to project a stable nexus, resonate it, and destroy anything. Of course the collateral damage would be substantial..." Suncat trailed off as Tumnus' mind keyed in on his favorite words "destroy anything". "We must install it for use that way!" "Of course, I had the same thing in mind, I just need to run the wiring into the nexus projection system and we should essentially fire the energy of the nexus with a predetermined range of activation, immediately behind that, something like a millisecond phase later is the carrier wave of your resonator and it would slam essentially instantly. Nothing can maneuver fast enough to dodge an EM based weapon, and even if it could, our transmitter can be adjusted to fire wide or narrow beam. I am thinking we could do a pulse based system as well using ST's hull as a resonating source and use a second pulse that would impact the first as it 'echoed' off another structure - similar to sonar that detonated on impact." Tumnus was thrilled, "I love it, let's work on that now!" Suncat and Tumnus set to work, pausing only for beers at a liquid lunch.

By 2 in the afternoon it was set up and tested by hovering above a Wal-Mart and leveling it with the pulse Suncat had developed. "Wow! That was awesome," said Kitty. "Yes, I am pleased, but I think I could increase the yield by 30% if I spent a lot of time optimizing it," Suncat replied. Tumnus announced there was really no need to boost yield, they still had to find Stifter, who he had located in another dimension. ST opened a nexus portal and shot through.

"Why is it, it's always the same old thing" questioned Tumnus. "A nexus here, and a nexus there, blow stuff up etc etc. I am growing tired of this". Everyone on board just stared at Tumnus silently. "Don't you think there is some other way we can accomplish God's work? "We are doing this already, but probably not optimally" said Suncat. Tumnus shook his head and was silent for a moment. "Surround yourself with fools, and you will become a fool," said Yoda, staring straight at Ice Cube. "Why you trippin' Yoda?" asked IC. "Exploding Q Berts, cubing, I don't need this in my life" said Tumnus. "Who shall we replace him with then?" asked Kitty. "Yo yo yo...wait just a second! This don't seem very democratic, yall need to ..." IC began but was interrupted by a loud "FAAAAAAHT" as Terrance and Phillip suddenly appeared. "Hey Terrance, is there a penny stuck in my butt?" "I don't know, let me check" answered Terrance. A loud fart was heart, and everyone did laugh. "I think Terrence and Phillip should join our team, they are quite Godly, don't you think?" asked Tumnus. "OH yes, I would say so" answered Suncat, and it was settled. IC packed his bags, and was transported back down to Earth. "The least we can do is drop you off, instead of just killing you, which would be the easy way out, but, we are just." Said Suncat.

Everyone waved goodbye to IC, who went back to his shack and smoked one with his friend. Upon lift off, Deebo was shooting an AK at ST, but the no mere bullet can penetrate it's hull. And he was frustrated. Suncat took control of the megaphone, and laughingly stated "I'll burn yo mouth!". In no time, ST was back into space. "Did you save the coordinates?" asked Tumnus. "Indeed" replied Kitty, who brought ST right back into the nexus where they were when they left it. Down below, Deebo pproached IC and Smokey. "Yo, I don't want no trouble" said IC. Deebo pulled out a knife, and gazed at IC, who was really high. Then, Deebo ripped off his skin, only to reveal a white guy. "I am Stifter," he said, and there was astonishment on their faces, and loud choral music.

Suddenly a nexus opened up over the neighborhood and a rusty Ford Fairmont fell to the ground, VB at the controls. Stifter dropped his knife and knelt at VBs feet, "My liege! How can I serve?" Behind his back, IC clicked a key chain and another nexus opened above the Fairmont. ST burst through the clouds and took aim as VB and Stifter ran to the car. As ST fired the new resonating weapon, time seemed to slow, IC and Smokey dove behind the porch and the explosion rocked the block causing Big Worm to turn his ice cream truck around and head straight away from all the commotion. The Fairmont was in flames and ST waved a mechanical finger in a no-no fashion and leaned over and shrieked a metallic scream, blasting windows out of all the nearby houses. VB and Stifter trembled, waiting for ST to make the next move.

"I'm not picking anything up in here," said Tumnus over the faint clicking of the Geiger counter. "Well, let's get started then," Suncat said, and he started vaporizing everything in sight. Tumnus marked with chalk where all the walls used to be and erected shower curtain rods and ugly Hawaiian sheets to take the place of the former walls. Yoda followed behind, caulking the sheets to the carpet and setting up acrylic walls where the bathroom used to be. Kitty opened a cylinder valve and filled the acrylic room cube with expanding foam, which hardened as they worked. For the next step Suncat replaced the fine solid wood dining table with a folding card table and sat a toilet on each side. To crown the event, all of the crew christened the toilets with foulness. "This ought to make an impression," Yoda said. "Quite," said Suncat. "Indeed," replied Tumnus. Suncat clicked his remote, summoning ST back to the Towers.

ST was looming over VB and Stifter and suddenly made his move, snatching Stifter in a claw and leaping into a still-forming nexus. VB looked around and was bummed rushed by Smokey and IC. By the end of the fisticuffs, VB limped to the street and started running without looking back. IC tapped his cell phone "Yo, it's done."

"Time to roll!" announced Suncat. The crew was just shutting the door and climbing to the 3rd floor when they heard the nexus power up. Right on cue, ST entered Jayhawker Tower airspace and hurled Stifter like a fastball at the wall of the Towers Office. The impact broke several ribs, but brought him out of his hypnotic state of VB loyalty. ST called an ambulance then stapled a few Eric Chenowith campaign posters to the trees and drove off down 15th street as the EMTs loaded Stifter into the ambulance. Bong. bong. bong. bong. bong. bong. bong. bong....the campanile struck 8 pm. Suncat called into the phone, "He's coming!" The crew ran into the catacombs to listen to VB's reaction when he saw his remodeled home. Tumnus found and rescued the wet janitor who was in suspended animation at the catacombs entrance, and the crew took their spots, armed to the teeth and ready for action. IC sauntered into the tunnel just in time to take position alongside SOT, who luckily was able to come because Tumnus signed the parental release from school for the day.

When VB was not looking, SOT went over to the living room stereo and put in the cd labeled "Best Buy" "OK VB...you've got us, we'll leave now" said Suncat. To VB's amazement, they all left, and Tumnus slammed the elevator door behind them. VB stroked his chin, puzzled. He sat down on the makeshift sofa, and threw back a cold one. Little did he know, SOT had laced his drink with 17 hits of fast acting double-dipped LSD.

About 39 seconds later, seven dwarfs leapt out of the stereo, chanting a drolling tune among hammering sounds like you would hear at a blacksmith. VB was startled, and wiped his eyes in disbelief. Robin Williams leapt out among a cloud of cicadas and a high pitched frequency sweep, proclaiming "GOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM" Fat Albert made an entrance with a loud "Hey Hey Hey!" and holding a baby, who began to cry. This was answered by donkey, and then everyone together joined in their respective sounds. It was all too much for VB to handle. The last straw was when Sir Mix-A-Lot arrived embedded within a swarm of souped-up mosquitos, singing "Buttermilk Biscuits". At that moment, VB's door burst open. "What are you doing cowering in the corner, we have work to do!" said the Envious Saggitarious, standing next to IC. "Suncat and Tumnus must be made to lie today" said ES. "How will we do this?" asked VB. "We are going to tell their parents how they leveled Wal Mart. They will lie to them" answered ES. "Now Come!" ES threw a stink bomb at the wall, revealing a portal. VB and ES entered, followed by Ice Cube. "NO!" screamed VB as demonic land gar crept out of the shadows. "Snap out of it, there is nothing there!" IC yelled at VB, who turned and saw it was not IC at all but a very Googley-Eyed Guy (GEG). Envious Saggitarius (ES) and the GEG exchanged puzzled looks as VB tried to shoo the land gar away. "I will never understand this guy," said ES. GEG leaned towards VB and blew an ice cold blast of air at him. Things froze in place in the cave as the frigid air contacted them. "One hundred eighty-seven proof-ass land gar from the bay!" screamed VB as he curled into a fetal position to ward off the land gar. "Gar are freshwater fish..." started GEG. "Don't worry about it," replied ES.

"What is this shit?" Tumnus demanded. Suncat shrugged, "Why would I put garlic powder and dish soap in the ice cube tray?" Yoda felt the bad vibes and felt his attention drawn to the atari, where he started a game of Pitfall. Unbeknownst to him though - it set free Billy the Scorpole, the metal half scorpion/half tadpole hybrid which had been imprisoned in the Pitfall cartridge since Covetessness (Avarice). 'Give me 10 of them suckers with grits and eggs!' SOT danced to the still audible bestbuy.wav coming up from the catacombs. Towers residents were opening their doors to see where the noise was coming from so Tumnus hit the switch behind the Papa John's Toilet - which released wheat dust and oxygen into the halls, then he hit the ignition. Flames shot through the halls, fusing the doors shut, "That ought to buy us some time," he said. Just then VBs stereo fell silent, and SOT loaded Posse on Broadway on ST's stereo. "What is this sudden infatuation with Sir Mix a Lot?" asked Suncat. "Dunno, roll with it, it's swass," replied Tumnus. "Swass?" Suncat asked, to which Tumnus only nodded and started doing the running man. Suncat shook his head and the phone rang. "Hey, it's your mom," he said to Tumnus. 'We put 'em in the trunk, we put 'em on the hood, some sat up with the driver and made him feel good' "Turn that down!" Tumnus ordered as he took the phone. Suncat proceeded to crank the stereo just in time for all to hear the chorus. Tumnus angrily waved his hand to turn it down to which Suncat and SOT both acted like they could not understand as they danced. Tumnus went to the back of the house to get out of the range of the terrible song as the Capanille chimed midnight. "Another day down!" cheered Yoda. "Baaaaahh!" proclaimed SOT.

VB writhed as the land gar burrowed into his skin. Every once in a while ES and GEG would look at him and make sure he was still breathing. "I never would have guessed that acid and that sound would react like this!" said GEG. ES replied, "Yes, our adversaries are quiet ingenious, we must make them fall from grace..." In walked a black-clad figure, who added "We must make them fall from grace in the next 48 hours, or all will be lost." VB, ES, and GEG turned to the speaker, VB gasped, "Biggun!" Biggun clapped his hands; ES and GEG took their true forms - Sigfreid and Roy. "There is no sense in trying anything else today, we will begin again tomorrow. We will rule the universe, not even Suncat and Tumnus can stop me!"