By this time, pandamonium was taking place in the stadium.  Jerry Springer saw this as an opportunity, and began taping his next show, as he brought out a Hugh Hefner look alike, dressed in fancy leather armor with a feather in his hat.  Parents across the world futily tried to hide the scene from the watchful eyes of their children, but it was too late.  The live cameras switched to the Blimp Cam, which showed Tumnus and Suncat racing towards it at an unprecedented rate.  Suddenly, Impact!  The front of the platform was stuck under the door, and Suncat and Tumnus both slid inside.  They immediately kidnapped the driver, Ben Maddox.  "Our Lord, we have come to take you home" said Suncat.  "I....I....I remember!" said Maddox, now just a head.  "2155...the year of our Maddox" said Tumnus reverently.  "I'm hungry" said Ben.  They all got on the platform and headed to Mrs. E's, for a meal fit for a Maddox.  Meanwhile, all across the world, little kids began to imitate Suncat, running around farting on their parents.  Things took a turn for the worst when the Green Giant suddenly jumped into the center of the stadium, and with people running everywhere for their lives, dropped a massive green turd onto the field.  "Ho Ho Ho" said the Green Giant.  After wiping his ass on the pitchers mound, he righted himself, then morphed into a green dingo.  The dingo's legs were stuck deep in the shitpile, and it made it howl.  Then suddenly, a deep voice echoed through the atmoshphere. "ENOUGH!"  God had seen enough, and promplty put down his fist on the stadium, smashing it into the ground.

  They promptly arrived at Mrs. E's, just before closing time.  Tumnus choseto sit by the window, at the round  table.  Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something large flying by, but it went behind a building.  Thinking nothing of it, his attention returned to the table.  Seated at the table, from the 12'o clock position going clockwise, were Tumnus, Suncat, Kittywampus, and the Ben Maddox head.  The black night dropped into position out of nowhere, and after fighting with his armor for 10 minutes, decided it was futile, and off like banshee he went, back to where he came from. Suncat burped, and everyone's attention was once again on the fine meal in front of them. Kitty had to eat and run, as he had a date with destiny at Brunes apt.  Desert sounded good to Ben, and Suncat gave his recomendation.  Just as Ben Maddox was about to  make off like a bandit with 20 chocolatey deluxe waffel cone ends, out of the blue came Orville Reddenbocker, sliding towards him on a Wet Banana water slide.  Orville came to rest at Bens make believe feet, and before Ben could do anything, Orville pulled out his poisonous blowgun and shot Ben between the eyes.  He died.  Then, Orville bowed down in front of the salad bar, and began to chant. "Captain Kirk, can you SAVE ME!".  The entire cafeteria then grew dark, as something outside blocked out the sun.  The roof of the building suddenly came off.  Up in the sky, everyone could see a giant Wal-Mart store, hovering above like the mothership from "V".  An intense beam of blue light shone down onto Orville, and he disappeared.  Then, Son of Tumnus came into the cafeteria, mad as a banshee.  They were out of french fries.  He vented by shooting a colum of may into the Mothership...killing the driver. It was none other than Sam Walton.

Several days later, the duo returned to themselves.  Tumnus was tired of the whores, the drugs, and all the noise from the elevator.  He had allowed Vatorbutt to live in the very building as himself because he knew all of the tricks in the shafts and catacombs.  Every man has a breaking point, and today, the shaking elevator marked his.  Suncat and Tumnes drank a keg of beer to whip up the courage and went to fat chinese's apartment and they let them in.  Suncat smoked them up high as kites with some bubonic cronic and shoved their fat asses in the elevator shaft.  They screamed as they fell, then silence.  Suddenly, a familiar scream emmanated from the shafts as they made unwanted sexual advances on VB, who promptly transformed Anne's ample ass into a Big Chief writing tablet and Jaime's muff into a big crayon.  He wrote a short memo, stuck the nasty bitches together in a lesbian pose with a nail gun, and ran like a gasoline-soaked banshee with its ass on fire out of the catacombs and into the streets of Lawrence, followed only by the cries of the girls he had scarred for life.

"The note read...'I cannot take it anymore...being cooped up in this elevator shaft.  The tenants never ride this one anymore, so there is no point in shaking it.  I'm off to bigger and better things - VB.'  All that remained of what previously was VB's dwelling, was a stack of Pitch Weeklys, a jar of mayopalm, and empty french fry box and his beloved electric blanket.  Sure enough, the magical crack in the wall was sealed, and VB was gone.  The question was...where did he go?  Hey guys, are you listening?", questioned Brune, who was already high as a kite.  He calmy picked up the dingo-head shaped bong, stuffed the eyes full of weed, and held the mouth up to his.  While he was holding it in, he noticed indeed, everyone from the 3rd floor had passed out.  It was time to leave the field house.  "These guys are so stupid...they're gonna get caught in the morning" thought Brune to himself.  He gathered his things, and scadaddled.  On the way to the C tower, he spyed a figure sitting on top of the big rock in the courtyard area.  As he neared, he realized it wasn't a figure at all, but about 50 pounds of high quality weed, molded into the shape of the statue of David. After several minutes of making sure there was nobody around, Brune non-chalantly walked by the statue, ripped of the weeden phallus, and proceeded to his room.  "Mmm, dick weed" he said, as he lit it up in the elevator shaft. "What floor do I live on?"  he questioned out loud.  This shit was the bomb, and was hitting him hard.  After hours of walking aimlessly, he made it to his room, where he promptly passed out.  He woke up 3 months later, in mid July, after most of the students had left, and smoked the rest of the dick weed.

He pulled a magical african bunny out of his ear, complete with fangs, horns, and a beard...and told it to attack Biggie. While all this was going on, Tumnus and Suncat had already armed themselves and took cover behind a force-field, one that was activated by Suncat's nifty new keychain.  "I am always prepared" said Suncat, when suddenly, out of the northern sky, swooped down Kitty in the back of a tie-dyed tie fighter, snuggle bear the driver, the real Horkheimer riding bitch. "Whatever you do, don't get into the Impala" warned Kitty.  "Just run away now, or else it'll be a real mess, and someone will die" said kitty. "Another one of your dreams, eh kitty?" asked Tumnus.  Caught off guard, Biggie failed to see the death bunny, and it attacked him,  biting him several times on the back of the neck.  The bunny licked it's lips, picked up it's rear leg, farted, then bowed before Death.  Death curtseyed reverently, as the bunny morphed into Satan.  Satan put on a clown suit, got on his banana seat bike, and began chasing everyone around, yelling profanities.  Everyone got scared, and jumped into the Impala.  When suddenly, a stage appeared...horkheimer taking center.  "Lights, camera, action!" Yelled Satan, now sitting in a directors seat, with Death the lone member of the audience.  Horkhemier pulled out a shiny tophat, and put it on a table.  With his wand, he tapped the rim 3 times, not 4, all this while twisting his mustache.  Out of the hat materialized a Presto Cup...labeled "C Tower Elevator Concoction...use only in emergency" Horkheimer then pulled a potato gun out of his anus, and shot the missle of muck at the Impala.  It was magical muck, and now too was the Impala.  Tumnus new what to do...drive to Mars.  Biggie dropped the clutch and they were off.  Just before the Impala left the ground, VB sneaked into the trunk.  It took Death a moment to realize who it was on stage.  "Horkheimer!" she shrieked".  After some intimidating moves with his sickle, Death approached Horkheimer.  "Dammit!" yelled Death, as he began to throw a tantrum.  Satan began to laugh, knowing what was coming next.  "Oh please Satan, please let me kill him!  I know I've exceeded my daily limit, but you have to understand....  "Enough!" yell ed Satan, still having stomach contractions from laughing so hard. Horkheimer laughed, and ran off, screaming loud as a banshee. Death left too, as did Satan.  Unfortunatley nobody put out the campfire, and it burned down the forest.  By this time, the Impala was 3 minutes into the flight, just about the break out of the Earth's atmosphere.  1 hour later, they were about to land on Mars.

Little did everyone know, the bunny's bite contained a nasty flesh eating virus, blended with mexican jumping beans.  It would be only a matter of time before it would take effect.

The hard landing made the trunk pop open, and VB flew out, along with the Jukebox. VB turned on the Master P. jukebox and jumped on a dime sized teleportation pad and was whisked away to a sunny vacation spot in the florida keys. Suddenly, Biggy Smalls began to shake uncontrollably and dance to the music. "No!" shouted Kittywampus as he ran towards Biggy, "you can't dance like that"  Tumnus ran some quick calculations.  "We must go now!" "Agreed," replied Suncat, "as the shaking increases in frequency, it will form a destructive interference pattern with the shaking of the room.  When their amplitudes combine, it will be too much for the pressure vessel, and it will detonate."  Tumnus' face lit up "The carbon-dioxide based atmosphere will chain react, total ignition of the atmosphere will commence."  "That will rule," said Suncat, "but I think we ought to watch it from space."

Timmy the mechanimal leapt from the surface of Mars like an abused housecat and commenced a long ascent to an orbit outside of the danger zone.  After taking up position, the surface habitation began to pulsate, then a shock wave spread from it like ripples on water's surface.  The waves grew closer together, and suddenly a massive explosion ripped a crater in the planet and threw debris hundreds of miles into the air, and the atmosphere itself tranformed into an all-consuming fireball. The surface of Mars, with its iron based composition contracted, then burst out, sending all the mass of the planet outward with enough kinetic energy to overcome the gravity that would pull it back.  Mars was no more.                                        

                                                                                             THE END