When he came to, he was lying on the floor of Hobby Lobby, sore, and buried under dozens of boxes of silk flowers, and above him stood a skinless dingo. Its muscles flexing, light glinting off its interstitial fluid soaked surface. Then, it howled and ran off. Paul shook his head, surely it was a dream, then the reality set in as the stockers ran up to him and demanded to know why the boxes were on the floor. Vatorbutt (VB) rounded the corner, and let out a ferocious roar, which made the clerks look away from Paul. Paul leapt to his feet, fashioned a saddle out of a silk flower arrangement, and barged through the clerks. He then mounted VB, which conveniently morphed into Secretariat, and rode out into the main aisle, where he saw Joseph, a polite Cookie Monster-wallaby mix with a blue goatee and horns. "There's the rascal," declared Paul. Joseph looked up, and thought happy thoughts. It didn't work, Paul Hogan was still there. Joseph curtseyed, and Paul told him how he was taking a week off, and Joseph was to protect the town while he was on walk-about. Joseph nodded, and Paul was off like a prom-dress to the Outback.

Just after Paul left, Drew Carey (DC) helicoptered in and began to cheer for the loser-ass Cleveland Browns. Joseph raised his handy stinger missile launcher, muttered, "Bitch." and took aim. Drew died then, the missile exploded upon impacting his Browns jersey, and his burning remains as well as the helicopter fell to the ground, landing in the middle of the Cleveland Browns stadium. It was quite a sight. Like the Hindenburg, the burning helicopter fell in slow motion, the players stupefied. Then suddenly, a monstrous roar was heard. Timmy the Mechanimal busted through the end zone, putting a huge dent in the stadium. He bent over, and shot Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA), Doozers in hand, and Beeker out of his ass with the force of 12 men. Hurndy Durndy Chef (HDC) swooped down with an eerie scream, and ripped out the necks of the Browns team with his fangs. SCSA stood over their remains, dubbing them bitches that can't play for shit. Suddenly, a meteorite fell from the sky, and incinerated HDC upon impact. "Boy, I'm glad that happened...I just didn't feel comfortable around that freaky thing. " Beeker, who thought HDC was an evolutionary masterpiece, was upset, and let out a pathetic little "Me." Timmy morphed into a hurricane hunter aircraft. Our heroes got inside, and they were off like a prom dress. Destination...the eye of hurricane Floyd, which was going to kick Miami's ass.

Then, it came. Winds began to build at an unprecedented rate. Winds accelerated to speeds not of this Earth. The shearing forces threatened to part the Atlantic ocean, as if the hurricane were a scythe of death itself, on a mach 1 course, straight for Gianni Versace's home. The winds neared 600 knots, the Earth's atmosphere began to pile up in the western hemisphere as they were sucked into the vortex of death, and the eastern landmasses could barely breathe in the less than 15% atmosphere that was left behind. Suddenly, the hurricane became self-aware, named itself Manny, and developed its own gravitational field. As Timmy neared, the storm began to communicate telepathically with him. It had two things on its mind, SCSA and a major ass-whipping.

Timmy lulled the storm into a false sense of security and told SCSA what he must do. As Timmy entered the eye SCSA morphed into The Great Tootski, and armed himself with only a pair of vice grips and a green Skittle. He would create a mini-big-bang inside the eye of the storm, which would destroy it. The downside was, if he didn't time the multi-dimensional plot right, it could turn the Earth into a black hole. "What the hell," he said, and he jumped into the 85,000 foot abyss, from which he could see the floor of the Atlantic.

All of a sudden, Joseph jumped out of Timmy also, but he had a red Skittle and Bob Villa's ultimate tool. "MEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEE!" screamed Beeker, who knew full well the ramifications of simultaneously crushing a green and red Skittle to the point of singularity formation, but he could do nothing but watch, as the duo fell through the near vacuum created by the centripetal forces of the storm's motion.
The two fell in a near double helical path, in a collision course, the countdown started. 5, 4, 3, "me," whimpered Beeker, 2, 1, he closed his eyes, .75, .70, .65. .50...time seemed to stand still. Beeker closed his eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and entered into a deep meditation.

…Back inside the eye, T minus 0.27 sec.....

The Great Tootski's concentration was broken when a blue spec caught his eye, entering from above. "What the hell? Oh my god! Nooooooo!" The Great Tootski morphed back into SCSA. T minus 0.19. "Me help" said Joseph happily. SCSA saw what was in Joseph's hand, and it chilled him to the bone. "A red Skittle." SCSA was full of rage. He felt helpless...but wait, he would not give up. He knew what would happen if both Skittles were activated at the same time, and shuddered. As precious milliseconds ticked away, SCSA decided to go through with his mission. "Maybe I can do it before Joseph has a chance to do his" thought SCSA. He readied his green Skittle, T - 0.10 sec. Suddenly, Joseph took off his costume. It was none other than Laura Arnold, the retarded girl from GBHS. With amazing dexterity, she carefully readied her red Skittle for detonation. "Me no likey, me wanty ninny-tenny. Me help" she said, with a stream of drool jettisoning out of her mouth, which was wobbling too and fro. Her eyes turned as red as a Skittle, and she lunged for SCSA. T-0.05 sec. Absolutely horrified, SCSA made a hard lefty-turny. Our two guests came within 3" of each other, barely avoiding a catastrophic green-red Skittle impact. T-0.04763.

They both returned to their helical path free fall, when suddenly, they both dropped their Skittles. Down, down, down, they went. They were already near the ocean floor, so the Skittle didn't have very far to fall. They landed, the red one on top of the green one. Luckily, Manny had become stationary, being trapped between two troughs of low pressure, which threatened to shear him apart.
SCSA fell on his ass, just inches from hitting the Skittle. He looked up, and down came Laura Arnold, in slow motion. She morphed into a pile driver, positioned directly above the Skittles.

T=0 seconds....

The Skittles exploded at the same instant the ball dropped in Times Square, signifying the start of a new millennium. Moses raced by on his jet-ski, and the sky opened up. Jesus Christ floated down on a beam of light, and spirits arose from their graves. Manny morphed into Satan. A huge asteroid made an impact around Hawaii. A 5 mile high tsunami raced outward in every direction. Beeker awoke from Nirvana strapped down to a bed of stone engulfed in flame. Paula from the guard shack was naked, and torturing him. The HDC came, and baked a cake in Satan's oven. He then gave a piece to everyone. Jesus ate the cake, and turned into a Banshee. Satan took a bite, and turned into a log of shit. SCSA threw his cake to the ground, and hopped on the jet-ski with Moses. Laura Arnold ate hers and everyone else's cake. She said "B", and farted. The noxious gas quickly diffused into the atmosphere, carried by strong winds surface and aloft. All along, the oceans were quickly evaporating, being replaced by drool.

In no time, the oceans were made of drool, air filled with fart, and land make of butt crust, all in a summers day. Everyone was dead, except Laura Arnold, Manny, and SCSA. Laura and Manny were husband and wife, and they made SCSA their family pet. SCSA committed suicide by drinking milk, and Laura consumed Manny. Mrs. Arnold Ate herself, shit, and ate it, and kept on doing it until the end of time.