Suddenly, the Four Horsemen Rode in, unannounced. "BAAAAAAA" exclaimed Son of Tumnus (SOT), as he tried to defend himself by shooting a column of mayo-palm out of his mouth. It was no use, their armor was just too thick. SOT lay there, his body numb and his throat dry; and as he lay there forgotten and alone, without a tear he shed is parting groan. As the horsemen were leaving, they took something from SOT's pocket. They stuck around just long enough to ransack the rest of the place, and then they galloped out the door. Then, suddenly, SOT came back to life, and with a vengeance. He galloped out the door after the horsemen, at an unprecedented speed. In no time, he caught up with them, in the middle of the desert. "BAAAAA" proclaimed SOT. The others stopped, and readied themselves for a fight. Then, SOT pulled a Bubble Lawnmower out of his ass. He proceeded to run circles around the horsemen, surrounding them in bubbles. But these were no ordinary bubbles, for the solution contained a special chemical that SOT had stolen from his fathers lab. The horsemen trotted away in horror, as they knew what would happen if the bubbles touched them. Just then, a skinless dingo howled.

Then, Vatorbutt (VB) parachuted down from above. Suddenly, a huge log of shit fell from the sky, approximately 200 feet in diameter, and hit the ground with a massive thud. SOT trotted to his fathers laboratory to tell him. Vatorbutt took off his parachute and approached the massive log. "Oh no, it is infested!" said VB, but it was too late. The log was crawling with baby ducklings, sewerducklings to be exact. No, lets make that sewerducklings with a lust for blood. Suddenly, VB was warmed with the ferocious little creatures. In no time, nothing remained but a pile of bones. The ducklings sprouted leathery wings, and flew to the west, towards Dodge City, Kansas. The meat packers were working and singing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go," when a flock of Sewerducks hit the plant. They came in one at a time at first, then in pairs, and towards the end, they came in droves, thousands at a time, through air thick with flying blood and the smell of death. Soon nothing remained of Dodge City except a giant blood saturated spot on the Earth, which was an improvement over what it used to be. The Earth opened up as a mouth formed in its crust, and it swallowed the spot, and nothing remained.

Scientists came from all over the Earth to study the perfect cylindrical log of shit which kept producing Sewerducks. As time went by, the US Army quarantined the area, and killed most of the sewerducks that tried to escape with flame throwers and a tub of fish sauce found in an old refrigerator. The ducks soon became leary of the fish sauce, and they avoided run-ins with the army. They hid underground, and grew in numbers, and began to evolve. Mentally, one of the sewerducks became the leader, and he was called Julien. He smelled like the shit log, and spoke with a French accent... strangely enough, all of the ducks spoke with a French accent. The scientists noted this and when they confronted the representative scientist from France, he started to laugh and pulled his skin off, their colleague from France was in reality, a sewerduck himself. It killed a dozen scientists before being captured and dissected live. France was banned from the UN and all nations severed their diplomatic ties, NATO bombing raids started immediately, and escalated until Great Britain and Russia jointly nuked every city in France with a population greater than 250,000. Not wanting to be left out, Germany overran the borders, and began to burn what was left of France. Satellite images of Europe showed that none of what was once France remained, all was burned, and Europe laughed mightily, free at last from the influence of France, which had sucked forever. All in all, this took about a week, then once again, the worlds focus turned to the sewerduck infestation of central Kansas.
Julien announced to the world that he was ready to go to war, and gave them two weeks to either surrender, or meet his demands. On the 13th day, Suncat and Tumnus found the secret weakness of the sewerducks, and they mass produced the serum and loaded it into the belly-hold of Turbo-Timmy the Mechanimal.

As everyone knows, as time goes by, shit gets hard, and the cylinder was beginning to weaken. Cracks began to form on the surface, and at dawn of the 14th day, rain began to fall. Suddenly, the cylinder grew legs, and started to run towards Popeye Patterson's Junkyard. By some undetectable wave, the flock of bat like sewerducks veered toward Chase as well, soon they would converge, and Julien would take over the world.
Suddenly, the Snuggle Bear zoomed by in his tie fighter, hot on the trail of the sewerducks. Snuggle Bear had loaded his guns with the serum, which he had just gotten in the mail minutes earlier, along with a note from Suncat and Tumnus. All the ruckus awoke Popeye, who was sleeping on one of those rollers that mechanics use to lay under cars with. "What in tarnation is goin on out they-ah?" thought Popeye. He opened his front door, and stepped outside. "Smells lock SHIT" he thought. The longer he smelled it, the better it started to smell to him. Then suddenly, a giant log of shit walked past. Popeye waved, thinking it was his son. Then, his pet turkey attacked the walking shit log. "Goddamn turkey, leave my boy alone" said Popeye. Then, as soon as it took it's first peck, it turned into a big lump of SHIT. The log walked northward, deep into the vast expanse of Popeye's junkyard. Popeye walked up to his ex-turkey. "Oh boy, just in tom fo thankgivin" he thought", as he stuffed the shit turkey into a trash bag, and stored it in his freezer.

Popeye sat down on his porch swing, and swung. He thought nothing of the noises coming from his junkyard. "Just those damn kids breaking shit", he thought. Then suddenly, a giant duck wearing nothing but a starter jacket drove onto his property in a Peugeot. "Which way did the giant piece of shit go" asked Julien. Popeye took the opportunity to try and sell him a set of metal Granada decals. "Silence!" yelled Julien. Having heard enough, Julien proceeded to eat Popeye. All was going well, until he got to Popeye's feet. "Jesus Christ, what are these things made of?" thought Julien. After a thorough analysis, he determined the bottoms were composed of a new element. Harder than steel, yet lighter aluminum, they were truly the find of the century. As he was putting them safely aside, the ground began to shake. Through the trees, he saw what appeared to be a giant skinless dingo. "Oh no...it's Turbo Timmy" screamed Julien. There was only one thing to do, and that was to find the log of shit before they did.

In the distance, a trunk lid popped open, and SCSA leapt out. He glanced at his surroundings, and thinking better of it, he jumped back in the trunk. Julien ran to the trunk and threw it open. Inside he saw a swirling cloudy material intermixed with lightning and smoke. He looked behind himself and saw Turbo Timmy nearing, he then took a deep breath of the ozone filled air and jumped in. Everything blurred as if he was moving at close to the speed of light, he then slammed into a wall. After fumbling around for a few minutes he found a toggle switch, which after flipping opened a porthole in the interdimensional space-time fabric of the universe. He sprung out, glad to be out of there, and after coming to a rolling stop he noticed he was at the feet of VB. VB slapped the duck piss out of him, and shackled his webbed feet. "I know who you are," he started, "Then you know better than to try to control me!" replied Julien.

VB walked closer to Julien and showed him what he had been hiding behind his back, a steel can. "You don't frighten me! Do your worst." VB laughed and opened the can. After a few seconds, the can of genuine Whoop Ass had Julien begging for mercy, but VB would hear none of it, instead he gagged Julien so he could listen to music while beating the shit out of him. VB did unspeakable things to him, things that Julien would never tell anyone, and when he finished, Julien was then thrown back into the nexus, only to land next to the log of shit.

A turkey who had been shaved of his feathers walked over to inspect Julien. Julien still had enough energy to displace the turkey's soul with his own and take over the body, which instantly grew leathery wings and fangs. "Ah, there's nothing like the feeling of a fresh body," thought Julien, now to get in the log. The door to the log was being charged by the Four Horsemen who had rode day and night to get to Chase, the sewerducks were putting up a valiant fight, but were just not enough, there fecal perimeter broke, and right behind the horsemen was SOT with his bubble-o-matic lawn mower and the sulfuric acid bubbles. The sewerducks that remained quickly fell to the ground writhing in pain as their bodies began to burn. Turbo Timmy lofted a huge chlorine cylinder strapped to pipe bomb while simultaneously dowsing the shit log with a mixture of liquid hand soap and a light wine sauce. As SOT ran from the log, an explosion ripped a crevasse in the Earth the depth of the grand canyon, but only .25 of an inch wide. Suction from the crevasse and the heat of a magma flow conveniently close to the surface resulted in a massive uplift of thousand degree air from the center of the Earth itself which started to incinerate everything near.

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Julien as the log began to melt, just then Turbo-Timmy grabbed him by the legs, and whipped out Shmoo, who was smoking a joint. The sight of a Shmoo, being natural enemies of sewerducks, filled Julien with rage, but struggle as he did, he could not break free. Shmoo approached Julien and their bodies coalesced as the Shmoo enveloped Julien's body and began to devoured his life's essence, but then something remarkable happened. Julien morphed into Belial from Basket Case and since Belial has no legs he was free of Turbo-Timmy's grasp, he shook Shmoo free, and farted while transferring his soul to the fart which became a gaseous Entity, much like one from another story, all while a skinless dingo-cockroach-armadillo-cockroach mix howled. This was no normal gaseous Entity though, it was an ideal gaseous Entity, which behaved miraculously like an ideal gas. pV=Nrt held, conventional physics was turned on its ear and Einstein rolled over in his grave. Suncat and Mr. Tumnus had studied physics and knew the ideal properties well, they drew out graphing calculators and an abacus and quickly calculated how to defeat Julien, who was in his final evolutionary state.

Suddenly a storm blew up from the west, a storm of VB doing, with 500 knot winds and a near vacuum at its eye, but it was only about 3 millimeters in diameter. Tumnus did not believe the 500 knot winds with a radius so small, so he recalculated. After several hours of calculation, he determined that the storms winds neared the speed of light. In fact, the difference was so miniscule, the slightest addition of energy would cause it to behave in an unknown manner. Miraculously, everyone dropped what they were doing in order to let Tumnus perform the calculations, all except Vatorbutt.

...In VB's Dungeon...

"Ha ha ha, fools!" laughed VB, as he reconfigured the storms structure.

...Back at Popeye's...

Suddenly, SOT dropped his lawnmower, and caught the very last sewerduck (except Julien) with his bare hands. He stuck it in the neck with a tranquilizer, and put it in his pocket. "A pet" thought SOT, petting his sewerduck, and walking away from the scene.
Then, just as Julien and Tumnus were about to face off, a skinless dingo howled, and Jack Horkheimer slid by on a silver surfer-like platform. Then, suddenly, a Mandarin Airliner landed in a nearby field. For the time being, Tumnus, Suncat, Shmoo, and Julien made amends, and got on the plane.

...In the Plane...

"Hey Julien, could you please pass the peanuts?" said Suncat. "Here you go", said Julien. "Thank You" said Suncat. Then suddenly, Tumnus poured everyone some lemonade.

...Back at Popeye's...

All the hubbub brought Kittywampus out to the yard. "What just happened here?" he thought. He walked up to Popeye's yard, and into the house. "Popeye, are you here?" yelled Kitty. After finding nothing but a turkey made of shit, he left. On his way out, he tripped over something. "What the hell was that?" said Kitty, whose feet have never felt anything so hard. He bent over, and picked up Popeye's feet soles. "Oh my, this is quite extraordinary" thought Kitty. Kitty was left with the find of the century in Popeye's Junkyard. Kitty scanned the area, and stroked his chin. "I have a lot to work with" thought Kittywampus, and then he went to work.

...In the Planes Cockpit...

"Ok folks, we have just reached out cruising altitude of 36000 feet. If you look the west, you can see a shimmering sea of trailer homes..and...what the hell is that?" said the pilot. He squinted to see, and pulled out his binoculars. To his amazement, it was Jack Horkheimer, zooming through the heavens on his platform. The pilot took down his binoc's so he cold turn the plane out of his way, but it was too late. Suddenly, the planes floor was ripped out by the silver surfer platform, and Horkheimer went flying through the cabin. Everyone waved as he flew by, and out the ass of the plane he went. The pilot was dead. Amazingly enough, the silver surfer platform now served as the planes floor. They were plummeting towards the ground, at an unprecedented rate.

...Back in the Junkyard...

Kitty used his GPS system to plot exactly where his friends were. Then suddenly, a splash was heard in the sewerduck pond. It was Paul Hogan, wrestling with a sewer-croc. "Nothing more dangerous than a.." then he went under, never to be seen again. A bird chirped, and Kitty regained his concentration. Off in the distance, Kitty could see a tall vortex, which at first he concluded to be a tornado, but wait...it was brighter than the sun, and only 3 millimeters in diameter...this must be the work of VB, Kitty thought. Kitty took Popeye's feet, and made something special....a fruit cake. Kitty just stared in awe at his creation. "It's amazing...the density of a neutron star...yet lighter than air." He threw it at the tornado, and it dissipated. "Now, to save my friends" thought Kitty, and he was off. He got in a Popeye's Satellite, made it sprout wings, and flew towards the plummeting jet.